University of Michigan

Big moves.

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 00:34:28 -0500

www.whoarethewe.com there will be nothing new here, so get at us up there.

Spring Break Bucket List

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 18:44:25 -0500

Spring break should entail a week of no regrets, trips only remembered through the classiest of Facebook albums (if only), and a hopefully forever-lasting tan. So with spring break in full swing, we wanted to offer a guideline, although we hope you’ve already made a dent into this bucket list.

1. Randos: Hook up with a complete stranger. Yes, we know that there are not that many people to chose from seeing as how our spring break is in February, but use spring break as an opportunity to expand our hook up circle and to get some fresh, untainted meat.

2. Bitch Fight: Come on, we have all wanted to get into a bitch fight at some point in our lives. Punta Cana may be the prime location for slapping some bitch down.

3. Occupy the Beach: Pass out in an outdoor location. We suggest the beach. The point is really to get so fucked up that we don’t make it back to our hotel room. If this isn’t something that you personally want to aspire for, hope that your friend will unintentionally do this. But don’t pull any Lindsay Lohan “Parent Trap” shit, that’s weird.

4. Body Shots: We didn’t diet, exercise, and take copious amount of adderall for nothing. Taking body shots is a great way of showing off what we worked oh-so-hard for as well as a great way to get drunk.

5. Water Activities: Go skinny-dipping. Like no. 4 says, we worked to get our bodies in prime condition for spring break, now it is time to flaunt it. Whether we do this with our girl friends or in a more intimate situation, this can only lead to fun. Well… It could also lead to being chased by security, but it’s worth the risk.

6. Reminisce: Remember the good ole days of football pregames and, in memory of all the good times, start drinking before 10am at least once. We know that it is already a little late in the week for us to being throwing this out because, lets face it, we are already going to be hungover for a solid week, but we have to do this one as tribute to the best time of the year.

7. Take it to the Limit: Spring break is the perfect time to break some records. Drink more in one night then you ever have before. If not now, we will do it on some random, unplanned Saturday night and be too hung over or drunk to even make it to class.

“Cheers to Spring Break twenty-twelve!”

WE love Michigan

The Michigan Difference

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:02:47 -0500

We are so often reminded about “the Michigan difference” but to us, it seems a little forced. As one of our Twitter followers stated (sorry for stalking but if you are reading this, your tweets are amazing) it is as if Michigan “doesn’t want you to succeed.” So this post is for you. And for all of us really.

We are redefining “the Michigan difference” as “going-to-fail-out-of-college-and-have-to-get-a-shitty-job”. Well either fail out or drop out due to the stress. So here are our top number 3 jobs that don’t need a degree.

Wife: This can also be a stay-at-home-mom. Who needs a Michigan degree when we can get a M.R.S. degree? I mean, lets be honest, some of us came to Michigan to meet a Business major or Law School boy and to make him fall in love with us. But why go through the literal (academic) harassment if it’s not needed? Why not drop out now and just spend all day in the Law Library waiting for Prince Charming (or in this case a 23 year old law student) to come up to us and start up a conversation?

Flight Attendant: Yes, Michigan has some great study abroad programs, but why spend money to travel when we can get paid to travel around the world? Plus, we have a secret fantasy of meeting a complete stranger on a plane and to join the Mile High Club (okay, it’s less of a fantasy than it is a bucket list item). But how much hotter would it be if you did it on the job? And we would already wearing a hot costume. At least the job would be better than the plot of “Pan Am”. (But really, has anyone even watched one episode?)

Yoga Instructor: What guy doesn’t want to get with a yoga instructor? Plus, the guys that go to yoga lessons have to be flexible, if you’re catching our drift. Even more important, we would be getting paid to have the best bodies that we have ever had. Hopefully we can find a rich guy to give one-on-one lessons to…

Okay, so we are obviously too smart to even allow ourselves to fail/drop out of Michigan. But a girl can dream. But now it’s time to get back to reality, hit the books, and make up for the midterms that we failed last week.

“Still hoping for our Prince Lawyer-ing,”

WE love Michigan

Valentine’s Day Prep Work

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:40:32 -0500

Yes, our past two posts were mainly for those of us who are single. And this post is not solely for us girlfriends, but it is for those of us who are getting laid. In order to be in top shape for our festivities tomorrow, we have compiled a to-do list.

Grooming: Ladies, this is an obvious one. Clean everything up. Personally, we suggest a Brazilian wax, but other methods are also acceptable. But this category also includes eye brow touch-ups if you usually pluck them. Let’s do our best work here.

Nails: Give yourself a nice polish job and file or clip away any sharp edges. We don’t want to accidentally scratch any “sensitive” areas and although digging your nails into his back can be extremely hot, making him bleed may be a bit excessive. And painting our nails is more for aesthetic purposes. No matter how cute our feet are, toenails always look a bit gross without a nice coat of our favorite OPI color. For this occasion we suggest a nice dark red, considering bright red looks like you’re a middle schooler and pink makes you look like you’re an elementary schooler.

Tan: We don’t want to look like a pasty white ghost, and we hope you don’t either. Especially if your boy toy is tanner than you are. Take a trip to Big House Tanning, it’s worth it. And ladies, go for a higher level bed, level 1 is just going to give you a tomato red burn whereas Level 5 is going to give us a nice, dark coloring. It’s Valentine’s Day – it’s worth the cash.

Lingerie: This is not for everyone. But a trip to Briarwood’s Victoria’s Secret could definitely lead to a happy boy and a nice way to spice things up. A whole costume isn’t even necessary (and actually can be really over the top), but we suggest matching a red, lace, cheeky panty with a red sexy bra. We love matching our “delicates,” and also love this term.

Scent: Please do not overdue this. Seriously. But one spritz of our favorite perfume on our wrists and one spritz on our finger to apply behind the ears is a good addition to our other prep work. Hint: Do not rub your wrists together. Instead pat/press them together, rubbing will crush the perfume.

Teeth: Throw on some Crest White Strips tonight, tomorrow morning, and tomorrow afternoon. We want our teeth to be sparkling white. Also, don’t forget to floss and to use some Listerine. Clean breath is imperative.

“Bonus points if our booty call does anything remotely nice tomorrow”,

WE love Michigan

Love is In the Air - Psyyyych

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:19:00 -0500

Yes, we know that we have been ignoring those with boyfriends. We apologize, kinda. But Valentine’s Day, in a way, is more significant to those us without boyfriends than to those of us with them, as girls with boyfriends obviously already have someone to spend this awful day with. But don’t fret, our next post will finally apply to you more than those who are single. But for now, in spite of Valentine’s Day, we offer of top five things to do on this demeaning holiday.

5. Self Indulgence: Ice cream, pajamas, chocolate (obviously purchased personally) - the whole nine yards. But since these all (no offense) respectfully make us fatter, cause us to look lazy, and result in break-outs, we additionally suggest adding a mani-pedi and a trip to Big House Tanning to our list of activities. Both still make us feel good while also making us more attractive. Really a win-win situation.

4. Girls Night In: This is the 180 degree reversal from our suggested no. 1 thing to do on Valentine’s Day, but that doesn’t mean that it is the worst thing to do. Sometimes watching dumb and often terrible chick flicks can be just the thing we need to get pass this day. We can even pull the Jessica Alba and have an I Hate Valentine’s Day Party, wear all black, and act in spite of this holiday.

3. Girl’s Night Out: Although some of us cannot stop this, guys should not be able to have control over our happiness. So we suggest a night full of either being a complete tease, ignoring men all together, and laughing at the completely stupid and embarrassing things that we have done in respect to men and relationships in the past. And of course a lot of “cheers to (insert some spiteful thing about men or the perks of being single)”. Whether or not we believe it doesn’t matter, as they say, “fake it until you make it.”

2. A Hot, Dirty Hook Up: as stated in our last post, hook ups can be a great confidence booster. Yes, we may be single, but at least we are still getting some. You may be wondering about the hot and dirty part. We suggest this because being fake, intimate, and cuddly can backfire (again, as we stated earlier). Hot and dirty will allow us to pretend that we are emotionless and that we actually are happy to not be tied down (but let’s be real, no one wants to be single, even Beyonce can’t convince us). This no. is more applicable towards those of us who have a “thing” going on with a guy but aren’t serious enough to do something remotely cute on Valentine’s Day.

1. Get Shit Faced: This would obviously be in addition to no. 3, it is just the sadder way to do it. But luckily for us, Valentine’s Day is on a Tuesday. Meaning that we won’t look as pathetic at Skeeps if we get past the definition of inebriated and onto a whole other playing field. Getting wasted will not only numb the pain of knowing that we are alone, but also be beneficial to helping make no. 4 occur.

“We’re already over the color pink,”

WE love Michigan

Get Some

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:29:07 -0500

It’s February (even if it does feel like just yesterday we were having our first post-Bid Day pregame). And it is scientifically proven that girls’ hormones increase substantially during this month. Okay, we don’t know of any specific studies but we are sure that they are out there somewhere…regardless, we become far more boy crazy than usual. For those of us that are in relationships, we get all lovey dovey and crave far more cuddle time and texts per day. For all us single ladies (no, you don’t need to put your hands up) getting laid makes us feel hot despite our inability to snag a boy toy. Sorry to those of us girlfriends, those of us on the prowl need more help and thus this post is not for you.

Getting laid has many benefits. Besides burning more calories than possible on the elliptical, boosting immunity, and helping us get a better night’s sleep (which is actually proven), a good fuck session can makes us feel good our ourselves - sexually and appearance wise - even though we are single on Valentine’s day.

So you wanna get laid? Whether we are discrete about our sexual endeavors or known as the sorostitute of our sorority, we all enjoy sexual activities. But there are some tactics to follow. Sleeping with more than more than three guys in any frat or sports team is definitely not the way to go. Yes, it is easy to spend all your time at one house and to get very “comfortable” with their boys, but do we really want to have them rating our “attributes” after chapter? So getting back to our point, we suggest taking the British approach and claiming land across the world/campus. Have a guy of interest at multiple houses. That way we aren’t having a bunch of one-night-stands but still have the consistency and availability of a good hook up. We actually even increase the consistency and availability because more guys means a higher probability that one of them is down on any given night - thank you Stats for teaching us something.

So this month, spread out and spread your legs. It’s actually kind of acceptable during the wonderful month of “love.”

“By ‘get some’ we mean ‘get a lot’,”

WE love Michigan

Going Viral

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 19:30:38 -0500

No, we aren’t talking about “Shit Frat Boys Say” but instead something that lasts way more than fifteen minutes (a little sexual humor - it’s February, boys are on the mind). But this is really no laughing matter. Everyone is getting sick. It doesn’t matter if we live in Alpha Phi or in Oxford, illness is spreading like wildfire. Mono has swept through all us Tier 1 pledge classes, flu season is already claiming its first victims, and colds have been sprinkled across us unfortunate girls.

What can we do? Once again, we are here with answers.

Health: Rest. Going to Phi Psi’s Trashcan Tuesdays (especially with this past weeks attendance) is really not worth it. Think about it this way, the quicker we get better the quicker we can be back at Skeeps. And yes, we are suggesting that sleeping through our psych lecture is worth it. But really. Between going out and late night study sessions in the law library we are really running ourselves down. At the least we should try to fit in an afternoon nap to reenergize.

Appearance: Sniffling into your sleeve is a big no-no. Throw some tissues in our Longchamp totes (come on, this winter is way too nice to be lugging around our Northface backpacks) and a bottle of water to hold back those gross coughs. And please, let’s not leave our house if we look like shit. No one wants to visually see how sick you are.

Prevention: Maybe it is time to pour our Wine Wednesday wine into cups instead of slapping the bag? We truly regret suggesting this but the fact of the matter is that about a tenth of us are sick, meaning the chances of getting sick from putting our mouths on the nozzle is exponentially increased (thank you calc 2 for being good for something). We have concluded that the only benefit to SAE’s lack of Wine Wednesday is perhaps the prevention of such illnesses? Okay, that doesn’t even start to make up for this whole in our partying hearts. But we can pretend.

“Who wants to get fucked up on Nyquil and cough syrup?”

WE love Michigan

Winter Pledges

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:29:38 -0500

It’s that time of year again. Bids have been given and a new litter of frat boys have been brought into the world. As they make the change from being GDIs to the life of a frat star, the freshman are for the first time not the biggest shit shows. Shout out to Phi Psi for having a (seemingly) abnormally good winter pledge class and a wag of our finger to Theta Chi - although there are some keepers there are definitely some that we feel are below your standards (given, we hold you boys to the highest of standards). Regardless, here is our pro and con list to these new frat babies.

Pros

1. Fresh Meat: It’s time to break these boys in and show them the “benefits” of Greek life. Not only is it nice that the boy pool is being expanded a bit, but they are also unclaimed territory. Let’s put it this way, we are Sacagawea to their Lewis and Clarke. We know the way and are about to show them around.

2. Smart: In a weird way, some of these guys are actually geniuses. They worked the system. They got their shit together and figured out academics and such before diving into the world of booze, weed, and girls.

Cons

1. Weirdos: We have to be a bit careful with this bunch. A few questions should come to mind immediately. The most important being why they didn’t get a bid in the fall. Was it because they were too lame to be a fall pledge? Was it because they were too dumb to know that they needed to rush? Pretty much, our mentality should be a bit cautious.

2. The Unknown: Although it is great that they are “untouched” that means we have no way of judging them. Are they assholes? Are they good in bed? What is their track record (we don’t need another STD breakout amongst our sororities)? We just don’t know.

“Proud that for once we aren’t the biggest shit shows,”

WE love Michigan

Procrastination Nation

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 13:11:00 -0500

With Winter Semester starting to kick into gear, finding ways to avoid work becomes a daunting task. Okay, that’s a lie. Procrastinating is second nature, like breathing. But at least if we are going to procrastinate, we are going to do it right.

Top 10 Ways to Procrastinate:

10. Food: Yes, our always-stocked pantries at our sorority houses are great. But nothing is better than getting some Pizza House cheesy bread sent right to our door step. But beware, attempting to eat cheesy bread in the house is almost as difficult as studying in the house. We know everyone is going to want a bite. Our advice, take turns ordering your “study break” food with your roomies. But lets be real, it’s not that we are actually hungry, it’s that we really don’t want to start that Comm 211 project.

9. TV: Revenge, AKA our new favorite show, is a great excuse for not doing our work. Joshua Bowman - you are a hottie and we appreciate it. Whether we are living in the house, the dorms, or an apartment, we find it imperative to work this show into our weekly procrastinating schedule.

8. Nails: Lets face it, the one thing Ann Arbor is missing is a good nail salon. Which gives us all the more reason to spend a copious amount of time filing, cutting, and painting our nails. With this dreary weather we highly suggest getting investing in a nice, dark, reddish-brown OPI color to get that wintery look. And ladies, the bright red nail polish would work if we still lived in Florida, but this is Michigan and our fingers will look Casper-pale if we try to pull that off.

7. Online Shopping: We obviously can’t be Facebook stalking in the library (1. because we never know who is looking over our shoulder - PLL status - and 2. do we really want to be that girl?) but, online shopping is fair game. Plus we definitely need more sorority gear and a nice pair of boots would be nice too. Thank the Lord for credit cards.

6. Men: Okay, boys have been coming up in a lot of our past posts, but come on - the lack of decent boys makes us that much more boy crazy. But we have a slight edit. Boys were so freshman year (and for those of us who are freshman, it’s second semester, time to upgrade). We are now on the prowl for men. This is not to say that our sophomore boy-toys are useless, we need to keep them around for self esteem pick-me-ups. All we are suggesting is broadening our horizons and keeping an eye out for the more mature men roaming our campus. Although sifting out the overly exuberant frat stars and the douchy athletes can seem impossible, we are feeling optimistic that there has to be a keeper somewhere amongst that mix. (Warning: GDIs don’t even remotely apply here. Stay away. That’s just embarrassing.)

5. We are the We: Kidding. Kinda… But admit it, you love us. And, yes, we know who you are and we have seen that a handful of you are trying to figure out who writes your new favorite blog posts and tweets. Just remember, we are the WE. For all you know, theres a bunch of us. We would give up, we’re obviously anonymous and cryptic for a reason. But don’t stop reading, that’d be ridiculous.

4. Food: We know we already mentioned this, but it honestly deserves two spots. Seriously, eating is one of the best distractions. Thank you No Thai and your Drunken Noodles for satisfying our high munchies.

3. Weed (Optional): For those of us who smoke, which we know that not all of us partake in such activities, nothing compares to the procrastination of smoking. It doesn’t make the cut for our No. 1 spot because we know that we do not universally enjoy weed. But, for those of us who do smoke, it seriously combines all previous procrastinations into one giant form of procrastination. So hit up our favorite SAE, Theta Chi, or ZBT frat boys (these are just the frats that immediately came to mind, but lets be real, what frat doesn’t smoke?) and partake in a nice bong circle. Just try not to pass out on the couch, never a classy move.

2. Study Groups: Come on, we know that we are just going to talk and gossip and vent and not actually get anything done. But at least we can pretend that we aren’t complete procrastinators…

1. Naps: If we reaaally don’t want to get anything done, taking a nice mid-afternoon nap will prevent having to do work for approximately three hours. Plus, it leaves us refreshed for our night activities.

“Procrastinators of today unite tomorrow!”

WE love Michigan

Turn Up the Heat

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 13:51:53 -0500

Winter may have come late this year, but now it’s here full throttle. We type this tonight while waiting for the Commuter South to pick us up from Markley, but the 10^oF night air is making it difficult for our iPhone to register the heat of our fingers. For those of you from California and Florida, we would like to welcome you to Michigan and thank you for choosing We are the We as your blog of choice.

But regardless as to where we are from, none of us have had to endure winter like this… even us native to Michigan are unprepared for this weather. The walk from our high school parking lot to the warmth of our locker halls pales in comparison to the treacherous walk across the Diag. So we’re offering some tips for beating the cold.

1) Bivouac: need we say more?

2) The Northface Touchscreen Gloves: we fell in love with these immediately, even though we sadly lost them in our Poli Sci class…There’s some kind of technology behind them about how iPhones are heat sensitive and so you can’t text with normal gloves, but these gloves have metallic index fingers and thumbs so you can.

3) Taxis: find yourself a taxi guy. Like pronto. It is finally cold enough that we won’t judge you for taxiing it everywhere. Waiting outside of Skeeps is bad enough (especially since they took down the heaters for repair), so taking a taxi is close to necessary.

4) Getting drunk: what keeps you warmer than the burn of Burnett’s vodka? Thank you frat boys for buying the cheapest vodka possible.

5) Guys: nothing gets us more hot and bothered than ending the night in your guy’s bed. Or, if you aren’t a Tri Delt and don’t “put out,” cuddling can do the job too.

“We may be betches, but Mother Nature is the biggest betch of them all,”

WE love Michigan

Survival Guide: Skeeps Edition

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:02:19 -0500

Now, we touched on Skeeps in our post about Ann Arbor’s bar life, but much more needs to be known if one plans to actually survive.

First and foremost, let’s take a look at the records. Skeeps: 28 Us: 0. Skeeps will and does take your soul. Except and embrace that as fact.

Next is the issue of identification. Let’s be honest, most of us are not 21 yet so presenting something of higher quality than a doodle on a ripped off piece of notebook paper may come as a challenge. Plus, it doesn’t help that they have been increasingly harsh on IDs that don’t seem real. Our advice? 1) Get there early. The earlier we arrive the better chance we have of getting in. 2) Get an ID of yourself. Not of your red-headed, twenty-two year old friend who is three inches taller than you but who shares the same aqua blue eyes. Those are the IDs that the Skeeps bouncers are looking for. 3) They take bribes so long as they are offered before you go out the door.

Then there is the issue of drinking. Although we usually pregame at one of the frats, half of the fun of being at Skeeps is chugging Irish Car Bombs with our sisters which were obviously paid for by the random kid trying to pick us up. 1) Never pay for a drink. Period. 2) Turn down drinks from anyone that is a decade older than you. (Exception: they are EXTREMELY good looking. Like McDreamy status, then it’s totally acceptable). 3) In the nicest possible way of phrasing this… Use your guy friends. They know that they are going to have to throw down some money at Skeeps and they would rather take Peppermint Schnapps shots with you instead of some random slutter.

Lastly, be a good friend. Skeeps is like puberty all over again. Crying, yelling, and awkward situations are standard procedure. If you see your friend reverting to her training bra years make sure to help her out. Trust us, one night you’ll be the one in need of a friend and it will have been worthwhile.

“Bonus points if you get a VIP member to get you to the front of the line”

WE love Michigan

Ski Trip Itinerary

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 20:06:59 -0500

Ski Trip is one of Michigan Greeks’ best inventions. All the asking and serenading is behind us and now the trips are right around the corner. Although the name might be deceitful (let’s be honest, few people actually ski), it is still a weekend that always seems to live up to and even surpass the hype.

Departure/Arrival: This weekend kicks off the Ski Trips with both Phi Psi/Kappas and Theta Chi/Alpha Pis heading off for MLK weekend. Then, at the end of January, AEPi/Tri Delts will leave for their Ski Trip (Poor Tri Delts gots bumped down to a Tier 2 frat’s Ski Trip since SAE doesn’t partake in this tradition).

***Sorry if you are in a non-Tier 1 sorority and going on Ski Trip. It’s not that we don’t love you (we do and we consider a good portion of you our friends) but we just don’t know all the other Ski Trips that are going on. It’s not you, it’s the weird frats that we just really don’t care about.

Activities: Drinking, smoking, more drinking, getting wasted, sleep, more drinking… What else would we want to do?

Packing List: Leave your skis and snowboards behind ladies. We all know that none of that really goes on the slopes. Bring some cute leg warmers, UGGs, knitted head wraps, and a high-tolerance. And don’t forget the Advil! (Also a camera might be nice so that we will have some sort of recollection of the weekend.)

“Let it snow,”

WE love Michigan

New Year's Resolutions

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 17:23:00 -0500

2012 may or may not be cut short by the apocalypse, but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t make a few goals for the year. Betches may not need resolutions, but the Michigan difference definitely applies here. Last semester’s tactics and plans may have sufficed, but winter semester is here and we aren’t playing nice anymore. So we are taking the concept of “mind, body, and soul” in a bit of a new direction to help structure our New Year’s resolutions.

Mind

Academics are a huge part of being a Michigan student. Yes, we also party hard, but at the end of the day (or rather the start of the day?) we want to excel in our classes. So we suggest a resolution to spend more time in the ref room. To set money aside for Adderall and Vyvanse instead of those adorable, black, Ralph Lauren, heeled boots. To make study groups with our sisters (choose wisely). In no means are we saying that we should party less, we just think that those hours of watching the Real Housewives marathons or stalking your ex best friend from middle school on Facebook could be better used hitting the books.

Body

We may live in our Northface parkas and Uggs, but that is no excuse to let our appearance go down the drain. Hit up the IM Building, the CCRB, or the NCRB and break a sweat at least twice a week. Start making biweekly trips to Big House Tanning to maintain a subtle, but consistent, tan. Or even whitening our teeth with Crest White Strips will help us to appear more tan (we will literally try anything to stop repping the Casper look). Also, make a goal to look semi cute for half of our classes. No guy wants to see you at your 10am Poli Sci class with morning breath and bags under your eyes while wearing a sweatshirt and sweat pants.

Soul

These are the fun goals that we probably don’t need to improve but will try to anyways. These resolutions should be about setting time aside for friends and nights at Skeeps. About making moves with the guy you had been hooking up with quite a lot before break. About setting up hair appointments because we love having someone else wash our hair. Really, it is about making an effort to feel good (after all, we do deserve it…).

“Let’s worry about surviving Winter Welcome Week before we worry about the apocalypse,”

WE love Michigan

Sugar Bowl

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:10:27 -0500

Today we embark on a truly historical event (or so we say to impress our guy friends…) as Michigan goes to a BCS Bowl game - SUGAR BOWL. Football Saturdays may be done for the school year, but Sugar Bowl acts as our final football celebration. And how do we celebrate football? Gettin’ drunk. So lets find the biggest TV screen we can and play a little drinking game. (The drinking game assumes that you are drinking hard alcohol. If you are playing with a mixed drink/beer/wine follow the *** directions).

- 1 Shot if Michigan wins the coin toss

- 1 Shot if Michigan is receiving the kick off

- 1 Shot if Michigan is kicking the kick off

[You caught us… We are trying to get you drunk. Sorry not sorry?]

- 1 Shot every Michigan touchdown

[Although a touchdown is usually celebrated by four to five guys throwing us in the air at the Big House, we hope that a shot will do. Pair it with an obnoxiously loud rendition of “Hail to the Victors” and you should be good.]

- 1 Shot every time Denard “Shoelace” Robinson rushes for more than 10 yards

- 1 Shot every time they cut to a players girl friend, wife, or family

[5 Shots if they reference Denard Robinson’s crazy ex girl friend who hacked his twitter account… Can we say awkward?]

- 1 Shot for every challenged play that needs to be reviewed

- 1/2 Shot every time Michigan gets a sack

- 1/2 Shot for every “roughing the passer”

[In girl terms, it’s when those guys in white and black stripped outfits throw a yellow flag and say “roughing the passer”]

- 1/2 Shot every failed Virginia Tech field goal or extra point attempts

[Seeing as how the two starting Virginia Tech kickers have both been suspended - leaving them with their third string kicker - we would like to celebrate their failure. Can you blame us?]

- 1/2 Shot for every Michigan forced turnover

*** 1 Shot (for the Coin Toss and Kick Off parts) = Shot gun a beer, Chug your bottle, Drink enough of your mixed drink to equate to a shot ***

*** 1 Shot (for the other rules) = Finishing the rest of your cup/can/bottle ***

*** 1/2 Shot = Three big sips/gulps ***

A big thanks to our hottie of the week David Pollack for giving us some much needed advice.

“Who knew that sugar could taste so sweet”

WE love Michigan.

New Year's Eve

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 17:42:00 -0500

Being a holiday based on glitter, getting hammered, and making out, New Year’s Eve is one of the most celebrated of holidays for the young adult. But after going to college, we have some things to iron out….

What to do? Do we really want to be the lame college kids who go to a high school party? Don’t make Michigan look bad - we party hard and don’t need to grace the children with our presence. Find a friend to step up and throw a party or find a rave to go to or something. Each state (and even each city) gives way to unique opportunities for this looong awaited night and we are not trying to (and don’t have time to) be your social planner. Pretty much, find anything to do other than party with your high school friends.

What to wear? We think that black is always fashionable. Add some metallic accents and we should be good to go. Of course a silver sequin dress with some cute black wedges is also cute, but let’s make sure that we are going somewhere where everyone is dressed up to that extent. Being over dressed is not a good look on New Year’s (or ever…).

Who to kiss? When it comes to New Years Eve, we’re not asking you to find a prince charming, or even his precursor frog alter ego. Our main concern should be to avoid locking lips with a stage five clinger. What we don’t need right now is to get distracted by some hometown low life when we could be making moves on that cute Theta Chi sophomore. Keep in mind that ex’s automatically fall into this restricted category. Nothing says buzz kill like hours of unwanted phone conversations with our ex groveling on the other line, or worse, them cock blocking us from future hotter and cooler prospects. And just because we may not go to the same college as our besties back home, we shouldn’t be making out with their ex either. One make out is not worth an extremely awkward summer. Important criteria: taller than us in our adorable heels, as hot/hotter than our last hook up at Michigan, and less drunk than us.

“May our New Year’s be as drunk as football Saturday pregames”

WE love Michigan

Investments

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 17:39:51 -0500

Yes, all the cash we got for Christmas/Chanukah (thank you Grandma and Grandpa) seems like a nice end of the year bonus, but it is way to easy to go through that money on taxis and Ragstock apparel in only just a few weeks. So, being the intellects that we are, we propose an investment plan.

The High-Waisted Skirt: If you don’t own a high-waisted black skirt yet, not only are you in need of a fashion advisor among other things, but you really need to get on it. For the majority of us who do own one, we suggest investing in a high quality, nude, high-waisted skirt. History Background: the original high-waisted skirt was made by BCBG but most of us buy the less expensive replicas (understandably). The issue is that the cheaper the skirt, the more likely it is to loose it’s shape and tear at the seams (don’t worry, it’s not the freshman fifteen causing the wholes at the sides of your skirt). So while we suggest investing in a nude colored high-waisted skirt (our new preferred color), we suggest upgrading to higher quality skirts.

Tanning: Spring break is less than two months away and our pasty colored skin will just not do. But if you want a deep, long-lasting tan we suggest going to Big House Tanning. Not because their employees are much nicer and knowledgable than those at Campus Tan (which they are), but because they have level five beds. Level five beds may be a bit pricier, but they definitely give you a darker tan as opposed to level three bed that will usually leave you looking a bit red.

The Black Booties: Like the high-waisted skirt, high quality shoes are of the upmost importance. Cheap shoes will lead to broken heels and the soles will eventually rip away from the shoes. If we want a pair of staple heels, a good pair of black booties will do just the trick. Our favorites are the suede wedges, but we’re also chill with the suede heeled booties.

“Cash for gold or cash for a golden glow in the midst of winter?”

WE love Michigan

Playing Catch Up

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:34:51 -0500

Since we literally get less time off then we got in high school (when our friends back home make snide remarks just remind them that we get out in April), we should take full advantage of our time home.

Food: Yes, we try to find alternatives for our favorite drunchies, but it can only last so long. For all of us New Yorkers, NYPD just does not meet our standards of pizza; so use this break to dine on some of the world’s best pizza. For us Californians, In-and-Out better be our first stop once we land in the golden state (how are we the only ones that don’t think that Five Guys is good?). And for all of us returning to Chi Town, Pizza House is not real quality pizza and there is nowhere that has a good hot dog, so we better eat up before our return to A2.

Exercise: It can be hard to hit up the CCRB and IM Building between sorority meetings, studying, and partying, and with our prior advice to eat everything in sight, these two weeks might be a good time for us to hit the gym. So whether we are members at the Spectrum, 24, or our local country club, get on those ellipticals and work off those freshman fifteen! (And yes, our feelings after watching the VS runway show may or may not have resurfaced due to their new Christmas commercials…)

Relax: The semester is (almost – sorry actually sorry for those of us who still have exams) over and for the first time this year we don’t need to find ways to procrastinate. Take some much needed peace and quiet time to catch up on Pretty Little Liars and watch Harry Potter marathons and to sleep/hibernate.

Shop: Yes, we love Pitaya and it has served its purpose but let’s be honest – everyone shops at Pitaya. If we want to start out 2012 with a hint of uniqueness shopping at home is always encouraged. Plus it is nearly impossible to not buy things for ourselves while Christmas shopping for all our bitches back home. So let’s act like we are doing it purposefully instead of being taken advantage of by all the fabulous sales.

“LF, we are coming for you,”

WE love Michigan

Mary Sue Coleman's Naughty or Nice List

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:34:08 -0500

Nice

- Spending three all-nighters in the Ref Room studying for exams

- Cleaning up our dorm rooms before break

- Actually leaving our South Quad dorm room when the fire alarms were pulled the other week

Naughty:

- Spiking our Espresso Royale coffees for each and every one of our all-nighters

- Finishing up our Captain and stash of weed before the RAs come in to do their annual winter break raid

- Ignoring the RAs and flinging chunks of ice at the annual South vs. West Quad snowball fight (But seriously, what west coast kid thought that that was enough snow? Seriously?)

Looks like all we are getting from Mary Sue is a lump of coal…

“At least the Sugar Bowl will sweeten things up a bit?”

WE love Michigan

Bars

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:48:33 -0500

Every Tuesday and Thursday night we tend to leave our mixers early (and let’s get real, they are usually only called pregames) and head out to the bars. The frats will even force their baby pledges to stay at the house to entertain the sorority pledges who have yet to get a fake (seriously, if you don’t have a fake yet GET ON IT) or make them be sober drivers to avoid wasting money on taxis instead of shots. So here is our how-to guide on hitting the bars.

Skeeps: Skeeps is our personal favorite. If you are trying to figure out who we are, find us at Skeeps every Tuesday and Thursday night – not like that will narrow it down much. Some think (usually GDIs) that Skeeps is too crowded and it is too hard to get a drink. But that is only because they don’t know the tricks of the trade: go to the very top bar and it is always way easier to scope out a drink.

Rick’s: We suggest going to Rick’s on the weekends. Honestly, and some people will strongly disagree with us, but we don’t think that Rick’s is that different from Skeeps. Neither actually checks your ID, they just make sure you have something to show them. But from our experience the bartenders at Rick’s are a bit more laid back.

The Jug: For everyone who is destined to be those under-the-counter alcoholic moms when they grow up, hitting up the Brown Jug on Sundays will help conceal your soon-to-be-problems (right now it is just called “experiencing college”). Sundays at the Jug you will find a plethora of Michigan hockey players, football players, and an array of other athletes. If you have the balls to sit with them, be prepared for never-ending free beer. Low key, the Jug loves their hockey boys and they usually get free pitchers of beer…you could say we choose our friends wisely.

Necto: Yes, Necto is more of a club than a bar, but we thought that we should dole out some deets on it. First and foremost, they are kinda mean. They will and do kick you out for being too drunk (would they prefer us to be sober?…). Yes, there is a nice outdoor room downstairs where you can take a smoke break, but upstairs it is chaotic and nearly impossible to keep track of your “sisters.” But, when there is a cool artist playing, we still think it is worth it to go to Necto. Plus, they have a coat check so you can show off your most scandalous outfit without getting hypothermia.

General Tips: If you don’t have the talent of locking eyes with the bar tender, wearing a colored shirt instead of a black shirt will also help you stand out in the crowd. Also, never buy your own drink. There are plenty of guys to buy you drinks. And like we stated before, if you are a freshy who doesn’t have an ID yet, get on it.

“Planning our Winter 2012 schedule around Skeeps nights,”

WE love Michigan

Holiday Hunting

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 04:46:00 -0500

With the passing of Black Friday and all our favorite online shopping sites running on backorder, we know that the holidays are right around the corner. And obviously we want to make sure to get our friends and boyfriends the perfect gifts for the occasion. For some of us, our OCD may have helped us get into Michigan, but it makes us very indecisive when it comes to the purchasing of gifts. But it’s really not that difficult if you can just categorize the people in your life.

Besties: If you don’t know what to get your bestie, that may not be a very good sign. However, we understand. Because whether you two agree to not get each other gifts or whether you agree to take each other on a $300 shopping spree, it doesn’t matter – that’s the beauty of a best friend. But let’s just say that you can’t go wrong with a cute, over-sized, Marc Jacobs watch.

The Hometown Possy: Getting gifts for your larger group of friends should be fairly easy, especially because after Thanksgiving break, you have started to realize who you are actually going to stay close with. But if you are trying to save up for some much needed UV rays at Big House Tanning, it may be smart to organize a secret snowman gift exchange. Not only will it be a good way to get the whole crew together but it means that you can focus on getting one person a really nice gift. For these friends, we suggest something funny or a nice piece of jewelry – you should know your friends well enough by now to know which route to take.

Sisters for Life!: [If you’ve gone to Michigan for more than a year, look at “The Hometown Possy”]Freshies: For your closer friends in your pledge class, use the holidays as an opportunity to show how thoughtful you are and to show off your tasteful style. We definitely suggest practicality here. Yes, you may have some good inside jokes, but you don’t want to be deemed the bad gift giver less than four months into your college career. Try hitting up Pitaya for a cute outfit. And no, it doesn’t need to be a slutty, going-out outfit, actually, we would do just the opposite and go for a loose fitting tee and a pair of super soft sweats.

The BF: Whether you go to the same school or not, getting a good holiday present for your boy friend is imperative. If you want cute jewelry for your next birthday, give him an idea of what sort of price range he should be shooting for. A nice Nixon watch should do just the trick!

The Fam: Trust us, your family is proud that you got into the University of Michigan, so bring them home some wolverine swag. Dad will love the bottle openers that play “Hail to the Victors” with the opening of every beer and Mom will adore the Michigan license plate holders.

“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip,”

WE love Michigan