Yes, our past two posts were mainly for those of us who are single. And this post is not solely for us girlfriends, but it is for those of us who are getting laid. In order to be in top shape for our festivities tomorrow, we have compiled a to-do list.
Grooming: Ladies, this is an obvious one. Clean everything up. Personally, we suggest a Brazilian wax, but other methods are also acceptable. But this category also includes eye brow touch-ups if you usually pluck them. Let’s do our best work here.
Nails: Give yourself a nice polish job and file or clip away any sharp edges. We don’t want to accidentally scratch any “sensitive” areas and although digging your nails into his back can be extremely hot, making him bleed may be a bit excessive. And painting our nails is more for aesthetic purposes. No matter how cute our feet are, toenails always look a bit gross without a nice coat of our favorite OPI color. For this occasion we suggest a nice dark red, considering bright red looks like you’re a middle schooler and pink makes you look like you’re an elementary schooler.
Tan: We don’t want to look like a pasty white ghost, and we hope you don’t either. Especially if your boy toy is tanner than you are. Take a trip to Big House Tanning, it’s worth it. And ladies, go for a higher level bed, level 1 is just going to give you a tomato red burn whereas Level 5 is going to give us a nice, dark coloring. It’s Valentine’s Day – it’s worth the cash.
Lingerie: This is not for everyone. But a trip to Briarwood’s Victoria’s Secret could definitely lead to a happy boy and a nice way to spice things up. A whole costume isn’t even necessary (and actually can be really over the top), but we suggest matching a red, lace, cheeky panty with a red sexy bra. We love matching our “delicates,” and also love this term.
Scent: Please do not overdue this. Seriously. But one spritz of our favorite perfume on our wrists and one spritz on our finger to apply behind the ears is a good addition to our other prep work. Hint: Do not rub your wrists together. Instead pat/press them together, rubbing will crush the perfume.
Teeth: Throw on some Crest White Strips tonight, tomorrow morning, and tomorrow afternoon. We want our teeth to be sparkling white. Also, don’t forget to floss and to use some Listerine. Clean breath is imperative.
“Bonus points if our booty call does anything remotely nice tomorrow”,
WE love Michigan