Yes, we know that we have been ignoring those with boyfriends. We apologize, kinda. But Valentine’s Day, in a way, is more significant to those us without boyfriends than to those of us with them, as girls with boyfriends obviously already have someone to spend this awful day with. But don’t fret, our next post will finally apply to you more than those who are single. But for now, in spite of Valentine’s Day, we offer of top five things to do on this demeaning holiday.
5. Self Indulgence: Ice cream, pajamas, chocolate (obviously purchased personally) - the whole nine yards. But since these all (no offense) respectfully make us fatter, cause us to look lazy, and result in break-outs, we additionally suggest adding a mani-pedi and a trip to Big House Tanning to our list of activities. Both still make us feel good while also making us more attractive. Really a win-win situation.
4. Girls Night In: This is the 180 degree reversal from our suggested no. 1 thing to do on Valentine’s Day, but that doesn’t mean that it is the worst thing to do. Sometimes watching dumb and often terrible chick flicks can be just the thing we need to get pass this day. We can even pull the Jessica Alba and have an I Hate Valentine’s Day Party, wear all black, and act in spite of this holiday.
3. Girl’s Night Out: Although some of us cannot stop this, guys should not be able to have control over our happiness. So we suggest a night full of either being a complete tease, ignoring men all together, and laughing at the completely stupid and embarrassing things that we have done in respect to men and relationships in the past. And of course a lot of “cheers to (insert some spiteful thing about men or the perks of being single)”. Whether or not we believe it doesn’t matter, as they say, “fake it until you make it.”
2. A Hot, Dirty Hook Up: as stated in our last post, hook ups can be a great confidence booster. Yes, we may be single, but at least we are still getting some. You may be wondering about the hot and dirty part. We suggest this because being fake, intimate, and cuddly can backfire (again, as we stated earlier). Hot and dirty will allow us to pretend that we are emotionless and that we actually are happy to not be tied down (but let’s be real, no one wants to be single, even Beyonce can’t convince us). This no. is more applicable towards those of us who have a “thing” going on with a guy but aren’t serious enough to do something remotely cute on Valentine’s Day.
1. Get Shit Faced: This would obviously be in addition to no. 3, it is just the sadder way to do it. But luckily for us, Valentine’s Day is on a Tuesday. Meaning that we won’t look as pathetic at Skeeps if we get past the definition of inebriated and onto a whole other playing field. Getting wasted will not only numb the pain of knowing that we are alone, but also be beneficial to helping make no. 4 occur.
“We’re already over the color pink,”
WE love Michigan