No, we aren’t talking about “Shit Frat Boys Say” but instead something that lasts way more than fifteen minutes (a little sexual humor - it’s February, boys are on the mind). But this is really no laughing matter. Everyone is getting sick. It doesn’t matter if we live in Alpha Phi or in Oxford, illness is spreading like wildfire. Mono has swept through all us Tier 1 pledge classes, flu season is already claiming its first victims, and colds have been sprinkled across us unfortunate girls.
What can we do? Once again, we are here with answers.
Health: Rest. Going to Phi Psi’s Trashcan Tuesdays (especially with this past weeks attendance) is really not worth it. Think about it this way, the quicker we get better the quicker we can be back at Skeeps. And yes, we are suggesting that sleeping through our psych lecture is worth it. But really. Between going out and late night study sessions in the law library we are really running ourselves down. At the least we should try to fit in an afternoon nap to reenergize.
Appearance: Sniffling into your sleeve is a big no-no. Throw some tissues in our Longchamp totes (come on, this winter is way too nice to be lugging around our Northface backpacks) and a bottle of water to hold back those gross coughs. And please, let’s not leave our house if we look like shit. No one wants to visually see how sick you are.
Prevention: Maybe it is time to pour our Wine Wednesday wine into cups instead of slapping the bag? We truly regret suggesting this but the fact of the matter is that about a tenth of us are sick, meaning the chances of getting sick from putting our mouths on the nozzle is exponentially increased (thank you calc 2 for being good for something). We have concluded that the only benefit to SAE’s lack of Wine Wednesday is perhaps the prevention of such illnesses? Okay, that doesn’t even start to make up for this whole in our partying hearts. But we can pretend.
"Who wants to get fucked up on Nyquil and cough syrup?"
WE love Michigan